faith testing?

so this whole situation in itself is scary, i'll admit that. but i still have that sense of peace. i think it'll continue to grow if i could just honestly trust in Papa. I know I'm not, like I know. I've been told. Papa's told other people - yet why is it so hard to believe in it?

faith is the belief in things unseen! - hebrews 11:1

i know, i can't see the result - but i need to have faith. trust is the fruit of the relationship in which you know you are loved, i know Papa loves me - therefore i choose to trust him. trust in the lord with all your heart! with alll my heart Papa, i lift this up to you <3

do not worry about anything, instead pray about everything. tell God what you need & thank him for all he has done.

- phil 4:6-7

i know that all of this is all really just to stretch my faith. to just build me up. just to truly know a new level of trusting God. to truly know a new level of what it feels to be loved. i know this situation is bigger than me, something only God can do and not do. so this is all about fully trusting him.

Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing.

- 1 thessalonians 5:11

I just wish YOU'd be a little more supportive. actually alot more, it seems you've been just standing on the sidelines waiting for me to fail - as if that's what a sister is all about. i wish you'd be alot less selfish, and start thinking about others. like maybe me, i get it - you're searching for something from us but we're also searching for something from you. some appreciation? some encouragement? some love? anyways - we should go searching somewhere else because it most definitely isn't coming from you 'sister'.